I never heard the term rainbow baby until after I lost my first baby. I suppose my daughter was my rainbow baby, but I never think of her as a rainbow girl: she is my sunshine and strawberries girl, my always-on-the-go girl, my dinosaur and bunny girl. my peanut-butter sandwich girl. my garden-and-rock girl.
but this little fellow. he is rainclouds and cool mist and rainbows to me. he makes me laugh to just think about him. I was so scared to lose my sunshine girl, I would wake up crying at night to think I might lose her too. but this little fellow. he just brings me joy every day. I think that I am going to laugh and laugh through the winter days as he grows and grows and I am going to laugh through the gray-green mists that cover the trees in early spring and I am going to laugh through the cool gray April rain when he arrives. and then I think I’ll laugh every day afterward, just because he will be here. my cloudy-sky-with-rainbows boy.